Beware of Gaslighting

Aunt Millie was Amelia’s favorite aunt with a passion for her beloved husband, Ernie, and classic movies. These old movies predated color, but reached the technical sophistication of recorded sound.

She wasn’t interested in the wild west films of that era because she worried about the safety of the horses ridden by the cast of characters over rocky, prairie dog occupied ground! What delighted Aunt Millie were the mystery films with plot twists that challenged her inquisitive mind.

Years passed and Amelia was no longer a child but a woman. And for some unknown reason a single word—gaslighting—took up residence in her busy mind. It was as if a figure was holding up a neon sign that blinked in bright orange that single word. It wouldn’t go away and couldn’t be ignored.

Amelia ’s mind rolled back to Aunt Millie and a memory when her aunt shared her enthusiasm for “Gaslight” a 1944 film based on a 1938 play. A great mystery? Yes. Twists in the plot? Yes. This was an Aunt Millie favorite.

And, it was from this play and film, the word, “gaslighting” originated.

The plot was sinister as the husband sought to manipulate his wife into thinking she had a mental illness by using lies and deceit to confuse her so she would doubt her perception of reality. Happily, the film’s hero uncovered the truth to expose the husband’s manipulation and confirmed the wife’s experiences were real and not imagined.

Like her Aunt Millie, Amelia had an inquisitive mind so she researched the meaning of this word.

She learned that gaslighting is the psychological manipulation of a person or group of persons (usually over an extended time period) to cause the victim(s) to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories.

A classic gaslighting technique is telling the victims that others (including the victim) are misinformed, malevolent, delusional, or lying, and that the gaslighter is the only source of “true” information.

This manipulation typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s mental or emotional stability and a dependency on the perpetrator(s).

Amelia concluded the gaslighter’s motivations aren’t driven by a desire for the welfare of their target but for their own benefit, control or destruction of their target(s).

As if to lighten a dark memory of being the target of gaslighting, Amelia, moved to sit on her sun drenched patio. Her ex-husband had a series of affairs but made her think it was all in her imagination. This continued on for several years until she began the habit of journaling the events that unfolded. Journaling helped her “see” the events as real and not imagined.

Amelia’s hero was called Truth and her response to this true reality was to file for divorce. Truth protected her from the gaslighter’s control.

She shifted her chair to remain in the sun’s embrace and her mind turned to a recent disturbing exchange with a sibling. Like a volcanic eruption this sibling spewed out memories of conversations and events, spanning decades, “proving” Amelia was a hateful, socially repulsive character who was to blame for this sibling’s unsatisfying life. Added proof to this portrait of Amelia’s character was her astrological birth sign.

Amelia’s hero was called Truth who revealed the memories were not real and this sibling’s life pattern was to play the victim, blame others, and take no responsibility for the consequences of her actions. Truth protected her from the gaslighter seeking to destroy.

The deep gold of the setting sun, marking the first day of November, brought Amelia to her last reflection of that word.

Today she exercised her right to vote. Amelia’s hero was called Truth. It was Truth that guided her hand to vote for specific candidates and revealed the gaslighting techniques seeking to confuse, change the perception of reality and sow seeds of hatred and discord in a nation of souls.

Amelia’s last thought as she watched the sun set was one of gratitude. Gratitude for awareness of gaslighting. Gratitude for the understanding of the motivation of those who use it. Gratitude for Truth that protected her from its attacks.

Amelia thought of Aunt Millie. In her heart she knew her favorite aunt would have been delighted to hear her niece’s reflections on that patio. Life’s plots are twisted but the hero is Truth.