Expectations Grounded on Scripture is God’s Will

This morning was about good coffee and good company. Grace and her three friends met at their favorite coffee shop and headed for a corner table to shelter them from the morning’s customer rush.

Grace’s friends were as unique as the coffee beverages listed on the white board behind the baristas’ counter. Carol was the original morning blend with her no muss or fuss personality, Meg the ever-popular latte and Annie the limited-edition brew created to entice coffee aficionados to be adventurous. These women had been involved in each other’s lives for several years and this bond created the freedom to be open and vulnerable with each other. So, this morning was special—it gave them time to be together and share their lives.  

Carol set down her coffee cup after taking a couple of sips. Her eyes darted to each of her companions as a subtle sign she needed to speak first—and she did.  Being a no muss or fuss women she blurted out that her expectations for her retirement fund were not met. She’d face mandatory retirement in two years and feared she’d run out of money to support herself. She was stunned to be in this financial state because she followed the advice of a financial guru who projected income growth that never happened to her fund. Her friends saw fear in Carol’s eyes as she watched her approaching future.      

Grace’s heart ached for her friend. Several years ago, she recalled Carol’s enthusiastic implementation of advice proposed by a popular financial guru. Carol confidence in the outcome for her retirement fund were reflected in her words, “His book is on the New York Times Best Seller list!”

Meg was the next to speak. Her first words were as soft as a latte’s foam but past the foam, they exposed deep sadness in her heart. Her expectations for a loving relationship with her daughter were not met. Discord that began in her daughter’s teen years continued into her adult years. Meg couldn’t understand why she was unable to cross the barrier built by her daughter and the sadness in her heart poured out like a spilled latte.  But good friends don’t pull back.

Grace remembered Meg’s collection of books written by a relationship author that laid out the groundwork for a loving mother and daughter relationship. Meg never stopped reading those books and holding in her heart what a renewed relationship with her daughter would look like. But this never happened.

Now it was Annie’s turn to share with her friends. Like coffee shop customers can count on the doors opening at 7 AM; Carol, Meg and Grace could count on Annie striding into the shop in a brightly colored fitness outfit. But today was different. Annie was dressed in jeans and a black tunic sweater. Friends notice change and Annie’s words revealed a reason for the change.

Her expectations to reach a healthy weight were not met. She followed every health and weight-loss fitness guru’s book that promised results. No program worked for her but they worked for her fitness buddies. Annie noticed a change not revealed by stepping on a scale—it was a growing envy toward her fitness buddies and envy’s close cousin, hate, toward herself.    

Grace recalled times she and Annie visited the shopping mall. Grace’s first family dog, was a bird dog, an English Setter with the not so unique name of Spotty. Spotty was predominantly white with black ears, orange eyebrows that were the color of what her family called Wooly Bear Caterpillars (fuzzy and black and orange in color). The rest of Spotty’s body was covered with black spots—thus the inspiration for her name. Well, Annie reminded Grace of Spotty because Annie could sniff out a collection of health and diet books twenty stores away! Every book she collected fueled Annie’s expectations for that magic number—that healthy weight goal. A goal she was unable to attain.   

The coffee shop’s morning rush was over. Sometimes we want time to stand still and this was one of those times. But the day’s obligations were calling and the friends coordinated their schedules to meet again.

Sunlight greeted Grace on her walk to the parking lot and she headed into the late morning traffic. Maybe it was the traffic. Maybe it was the coffee. But one word demanded her attention like the brake lights of the car in front of her – and that word was expectations. One word that was spoken by three friends. A single word but one that held such power over them.

Her mind drifted toward her unmet expectations of a forever marriage; her marriage ended in divorce because of her husband’s infidelity. She thought of the pain it caused and how these three friends listened to her words release the pain of betrayal and hopelessness of a future not as a couple—but alone.

She relived for a moment the emotions of her unmet expectations and thought of Carol’s suffocating fear, Meg’s overwhelming sorrow and Annie’s envy and hate seeping into her heart like sewer water. She thought, What pain unmet expectations cause!

Her journey was delayed by the passing of a freight train. The rhythmic sound of the freight cars on the tracks brought another question to her mind, What do we ground our expectations on?   

Grace realized the financial guru’s book grounded Carol’s financial expectations, the relationship author grounded Meg’s expectations for a healed relationship with her daughter and the collection of diet books grounded Annie’s expectations to achieve her healthy weight goal.

And her own expectations? She thought a knight on a white horse would sweep in and save her from a mundane life and bring her happiness forever—just like her childhood story books. How she wore out family members asking again and again to be read books of young women like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty who were rescued by handsome heroes.

Reaching her destination, she pulled into her driveway and tapped the garage door opener. The door opened and Grace had a final revelation—her expectations were grounded on story book fairy tales and her friends’ expectations were grounded on fairy tale messages. There was no truth. No wonder their expectations were unmet!